Always
by goddessoflightandshadow
Summary: Ever wonder what happened after the war? This story is about how Katniss rediscovers her love for Peeta, her life and even herself.


A Candle in the Darkness

Chapter 1

Ever since the Rebellion ended, Peeta's been gone. Peeta is in 13 with some highly trained doctors who are working with him to try to put a end to his hijackings. Id never thought id say this, but I'm not complete without him.

I cant eat. I'm constantly having nightmares. Every night. Without Peeta to comfort me, I'm up half the night shivering and shaking. No one except Greasy Sae and her little granddaughter, Melanie come to assist me. Melanie is a sweet little girl but is much too wild for me, especially in my current state. Sometimes, Haymitch comes to visit but we almost always wind up arguing about something, so its short-lived. What I need most is Peeta.

Last night my nightmare was the worst since….well I don't know.

It was about Prim.

I was sitting in the meadow when I saw her. She was just as beautiful as I so vividly remember her.

Her beautiful blue eyes were shining with happiness and her blond hair was flowing behind her back. She wore a long flowing white dress and no shoes. A daisy crown adorned her head.

"Prim!" I yelled propelling myself toward her.

"Katniss!" She yelled hugging my neck tightly.

Suddenly I realized that she was grabbing my neck a bit to tightly.

"Prim!" I cried, making a strangled attempt to speak. "Prim let go!"

"Okay sister", Prim replied in a mocking tone.

As she began to release me I noticed something. Unlike before I'd hugged Prim, her previously blond hair was grayish and burnt at the ends. Her skin was sickly white. But worst of all her blue eyes were replaced by sunken black holes. I jumped out of her grasp, screaming.

"Who are you!" I yelled,

"You're not my sister!"

"Katniss, Katniss." Prim shook her head as if I'd never learn.

"Maybe not. But I'm whom you decided I was to be.

Her cruel words shook me even in my nightmare.

"Prim you know I didn't mea-

I stopped cold when is saw her draw the knife from her pocket.

Prim moved toward me in swift movements. She had a devilish smirk on her mouth, anticipating my death. "it's time for you do join us." Prim said.

"_Us_?" I spoke quizzically. "Who's us?

I walked backwards until I felt myself bumping into someone. I turned around and saw my savior, Cinna.

"Cinna! You've came to save me!" He smiled and chuckled a bit.

"Well, well Katniss a bit naive aren't you." Cinna drew his sword. I suddenly realized Cinna was here to put an end to me as well.

"Prim you'll have the honor." Cinna said, already turning into the corpse Prim was.

Suddenly I was on the ground. Prim crouched over me, much like Clove in the first arena. I shook from the thought of my sister being like her, though Clove was just a pawn of the Capitol. She slowly cut my throat. Letting me scream and cry out. Prim felt no remorse for her sister. I thought I heard cheering. I moved my now starting to dull eyes around and saw other victims who may just be dead on my account. I saw Finnick with his trident preparing to strike. Rue, up in a tree eyes locked on mine. Clove, looking at my sister with envy, as if she wished she could do the job. I even saw Thresh, muttering that he should have killed me back in the arena. But worst of all, my father approached me. Here he was walking through the meadow, with his bow and arrow, as if he was just hunting on a normal day. But he was a corpse too and had only pure evil in his eyes.

"Prim" he spoke just as I remember, le t me finish the job.

"No daddy!" I screamed.

But the arrow was already through my heart.

LINE BREAK  
I woke up screaming wildly. I'm pretty sure Gale could hear me back in Two. I screamed more just at the thought. The sheets on my bed were drenched with my sweat. I could still hear Prims words. "_I'm who you decided I was to be." _Sobs racked my body. Prim couldn't believe I was responsible for her death.

"I didn't mean it Prim" I screamed to no one.

I slowly got up from the floor after I had fallen out of bed. My limbs ached but I shoved the feeling off. The sun was just about to rise, so I decided to sit on the roof and watch. I've been up there a couple of times and it was nice, so it seemed like the perfect way to relive stress. I had to climb out of the window to get up there, but I wasn't scared. I've gone through too much to be afraid of heights. I sat on the flatter part of the roof wiping away the last of my tears. It was actually nice up here. I could be alone, but at the same time see quite far. I wonder what would happen if I fell.

"I'd probably die" I spoke my suspicion loud.

Death. I've seen it countless times and almost experienced it just as many. If I died, then I never would have to experience this horrible life again. I could see Prim and Rue and Cinna and…

"I'd be at peace."

I moved toward the edge of the roof I prepared to jump. But first I had to write a note. I quickly took out a scrap of paper and a pen that I happened to have in the pocket of my pajama pants. I wrote two things:

_To: Mother, Haymitch, Gale and whoever else:_

_I'm so so sorry it had to end like this. I just can't live with myself anymore. Not after….. I just want to say than you and I love you. I don't mind dying because Ill hopefully go to a better place and I get to see those I miss._

_Katniss_

I hurriedly took out another sheet of paper and quickly scribbled these words before I lost my nerve:

_To: Peeta_

_Peeta, I'm so sorry. Peeta I hope your stay at Thirteen was successful and I hope you'll be OK now that I'm gone. I just want to say that I love you so much, but you'll have to move on. Peeta, just try not to forget me. I love you more than you know._

_Love, Katniss_

My tears blotted Peeta's note and I barely held myself together as I dropped both notes through my bedroom window, onto my side table. I moved farther from the window and closer to the edge as I prepared to jump.

'_I've always wanted to fly.'_

"Wait!" A yell sounded from the side of the roof. "Katniss no!"

"Peeta" I yelled.

He was here. I didn't have to jump. But I forgot I was on the side of the roof, when suddenly the ground under me wasn't there anymore. I had fallen. Somehow, Peeta was there and he grabbed me and quickly pulled me up. By then tears were streaming down both our faces.

"Peeta." I sobbed into his shoulder, now safely on the roof, safely in his arms.

"Katniss." He said holding me tighter. Katniss?" Was what you said, in the note true?"

I looked deep into his eyes that were like blue, bottomless swimming pools. "Every bit of it." I breathed. He pushed me against the side of the roof kissing me roughly. I didn't hold back like before. I had nothing to lose.

"You love me. Real or not real?" Peeta asked unsurely, pulling away.

"So real Peeta. So real." I spoke smiling.

I looked out into the distance. It wasn't too late yet. I gestured to my room. "Stay with me?" I asked.

It was Peeta's turn to smile.

"Always"


End file.
